PINE RIVER PICKUP REPORT
Mark Twain: “Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.”
THE FACTS
Date: June 25, 2012 - 10:00AM to 3:30 PM
Location: Michigan’s now pristine Pine River, Peterson Bridge to Low Bridge
Participants: Bowman, Roseanne; Fred, Norm; Goldstein, Lois; Heiam, John; Lord, Tracie; Miltner, Mark; Miltner, Val; Swartz, Fred; Swartz, Judith; Tobias, Dean; Tobias, Diane Trepte, Jocelyn; Welton, Ken; Wilgus, Gerald; and Wilgus, Susan
Weather: Superb, sunny with picturesque clouds on occasion and moderate tail winds
Payoff: An estimated forty kilograms of sundry and soggy debris, including over a dozen flip-flops (none of which made a matching pair), one “pristine” water bottle, an all-inclusive Navy arsenal (including one squirt gun, one water bomb, and one buck knife), a variety pack of beer (one-third unopened!), $3.80 worth of ten-cent cans, a ten-gallon Styrofoam ice chest (broken into myriad parts), an antique fishing lure, three college tee-shirts, uncounted good laughs … and, thankfully, no spills or other mishaps.
THE OBSERVATIONS
Admiral Lois admirably organized the fleet of canoes and kayaks and staff for a timely departure. PFD’s inspected, permits distributed, collection sacks provided, objectives set, the enemy defined, and attack route and lunch time made clear to all.
The flotilla commenced meandering at exactly 10:00 AM with all eyes pealed (peeled?) for any trace of debris. Early going was disappointing (or heartening, if you please) until a trove of log jams revealed several “mother lodes,” to quote the Admiral, providing Jocelyn, Mark, Roseanne, and Dean ample opportunity to display their log hopping skills.
Quote of the day: Attributable to many, “How much further to Low Bridge?”
Site(s) of the day: Mark frequently displaying his George Washington “Crossing the Delaware” pose in the bow of his canoe as Val diligently maintained balance of the vessel. Washington carried a sword, Mark a canoe paddle. Otherwise the comparison remains re-mark-able.
THE SPECULATIONS
When they got home, who had more fun with the squirt gun and water bomb, Lois or John, and did/will John really give them to the neighbor kids?
THE THANKS
To all that helped with the cleanup.
To Admiral Lois for the planning, organization, advice, and especially, for arranging the superlative weather.
To Val and Mark for the extra canoe and logistical and shuttle support.
To Rear Admiral Fred for keeping the herd of river-cats moving in timely and semi-coordinated fashion.
And finally, to the careless boaters, fishermen, hunters, swimmers, and hikers who contributed the diversity of flotsam that made the cleanup interesting. May they have sore feet from having no flip-flops. And may they be crying over their missing beer.
Written by Ken Welton, stern paddler extraordinaire, visiting us from Utah